Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

A Few Audio Jokes

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

A psychiatrist and an audiologist opened up a joint office…

So some of the patients go there cause they hear things, while others, cause they don’t!

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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No, its Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”

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A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?”
“Twelve thirty.”

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Expensive hearing aids…

Monday, October 5th, 2009

A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me two thousand pounds, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbour. “What kind is it?”
“Twelve thirty.”

hearing aid

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A short history of audiology and medicine

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

*”Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”

* Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didnt have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didnt have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

* Why can Captain Kirk hear so well?
Because he has three ears: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

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Audiology Poster

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Do you hear that ringing sound? What? et al….

To view them click on:

Audiology Poster

ENT Poster

To buy any of these posters visit: JimBeran.com

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Sizzling summer ears

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up.

The boss says, “What happened to your ears?”
He says, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron.”
The boss says, “Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?”
He says, “Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!”


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One ear… hmmm

Friday, June 5th, 2009

Three blondes were trying out at the FBI. The interviewer said, “I’m going to hold a picture up for five seconds. Look at it, and when I put it away, tell me what you saw.”

He held it up

The first blonde said, “I saw a man with one ear.”
The interviewer said, “well, that’s partially right…you see, it is a side profile so all you’d see is one ear.”

The second blonde said, “I saw a man with one eye.”
The interviewer said, “well, that’s partially right…you see it is a side profile so all you’d see is one eye.”



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The third blonde said, “Well, I’m not sure, but he has contacts.”

The interviewer was stunned and said, “hang on a second.” He went to the back room, checked the deatils of the man who modeled for the picture. He came back out and said, “You’re absolutely right, he did have contacts. How did you know?”

The third blonde said, “Well, I figured he couldn’t wear glasses since he only had one ear.”

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What we say to dogs…

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

and what they hear (click to view).

What dogs hear

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B.

An elderly lady goes to the doctor.
Dr I suffer with flatulence, sure they don’t smell and make no noise but still I can’t take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me? I still suffer with flatulence and now it smells as well!
Oh very well, now about your hearing…

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Somethink wrong with your hearing?

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

See Hear Speak
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.'”

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