Three blondes were trying out at the FBI. The interviewer said, “I’m going to hold a picture up for five seconds. Look at it, and when I put it away, tell me what you saw.”

He held it up

The first blonde said, “I saw a man with one ear.”
The interviewer said, “well, that’s partially right…you see, it is a side profile so all you’d see is one ear.”

The second blonde said, “I saw a man with one eye.”
The interviewer said, “well, that’s partially right…you see it is a side profile so all you’d see is one eye.”

The third blonde said, “Well, I’m not sure, but he has contacts.”

The interviewer was stunned and said, “hang on a second.” He went to the back room, checked the deatils of the man who modeled for the picture. He came back out and said, “You’re absolutely right, he did have contacts. How did you know?”

The third blonde said, “Well, I figured he couldn’t wear glasses since he only had one ear.”

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This article is about a brilliant ENT whose love for his profession, inspires others. It reminded me of a quote of Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Every great and commanding movement in the annals of the world is due to the triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it.

Giving out an earful and loving it

I don’t know much about Dr. Reardon, my ear, nose and throat specialist, except that the man is in love with ears. After all the decades he’s been looking at them, you’d think he’d be done. Seen one, seen ‘em all. Bring on some toes and elbows, please.

But every time he walks into the examining room where I sit with my clogged up ear, he is almost whistling, eager to get to his chart and his very realistic “you can take it apart and move it around” facsimile of an ear and explain to me how the middle ear is a hollow chamber in the bone of the skull.

 He is as earnest as a sonnet. And not just to me. Every day his office is packed with people, but no one seems to mind waiting because when he gets to you he is totally tuned into you.

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Chronic otitis media is the result of long-term damage to the middle ear brought about by infection and inflammation, he serenades. Mastoiditis is an infection of the mastoid bone of the skull. See here. This is called cholesteatoma and it usually results from repeated middle-ear infections.

He is like Adam giving a private tour of the Garden of Eden. And he doesn’t just recite the names of things. He explains. And extols.

He makes me think of my friend Antonio, who always beamed when he was sharing the secrets of his perfect marinara sauce. Some cream. Some tomatoes. But not just any tomatoes. “You see this one? Not good enough. You see this? Here, feel it. Smell it. Fresh. Everything has to be fresh. And carrots. Carrots are key.”

And then there’s Paul, a landscaper, who knocked on my door just the other day holding in his hand what appeared to be a dead branch from a dead tree in my yard and declaring the tree alive. “There’s still some green here, see? Give it a chance. Water it. Feed it. Don’t cut it down yet.”

It’s amazing that some people fall in love not just with the obvious beauties, things that everyone loves - other people and babies and dogs and birds and sunsets and lakes and snow-peaked mountains - but with ears and red sauces and even scraggly half-dead trees. And that every day in so many ways, this love changes everything.

You don’t think much about ears and how they work and what life would be like if they didn’t. Or about knees and hearts and lungs and eyes and all the things our bodies do until one day they don’t. You don’t think about a specialist until you need one. Until you have something a pill can’t cure.

We can fix that ear, my specialist told me for the zillionth time three weeks ago. All we have to do is. . . And there he was at the chart again, at his computer pulling up my CAT scan showing me in detail how my ear is supposed to work. And why, exactly, it wasn’t. As confident as Jesus with the fish and the loaves. Fix that ear? Feed the throngs? Not a problem.

Me? I was a disciple still, thinking this is going to take a miracle.

Dr. Reardon wouldn’t call it a miracle. He performed a procedure he’s done a thousand times. But the truth of it is he acts as though it’s all a miracle. The way the ear works. The technology that allows him to see if it’s working. The ear’s structure. The way it heals. And the way he is allowed to participate in the healing.

I have a feeling God is looking down on this man and thinking, “You know, you get it. You appreciate my design. You respect my creation. You’re helping people. And you’re doing a good job.”

Under the radar. Out of the news. Away from the spotlight. Where so much of the good that people do takes place.

Source: http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2009/05/17/giving_out_an_earful_and_loving_it/

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Testing peoples’ hearing is never mundane as proved by the following, priceless incidents:

When giving the instructions for masking, I always say to the patient: “You might hear some wind blowing in your other now. Just ignore it completely and only press the button when you hear the beeps” after which this lady quickly responded: “O, much like I have to do with my husband then!”

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Another lady who was visibly stressed by having to concentrate so hard to hear the tones pointed out: “Dear, I’m afraid my teeth clatter too much, I can’t hear those sounds” Thankfully she didn’t remove them to continue the test!

And then there was the lady who asked where she could undress when she entered the booth. Puzzled I asked why she wanted to do that and she replied: “Well the doctor sent me for a urine test” and when I explained he said hearing test, she laughed loudly saying that’s probably why he sent her then!

Dezi Bell

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and what they hear (click to view).

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B.

An elderly lady goes to the doctor.
Dr I suffer with flatulence, sure they don’t smell and make no noise but still I can’t take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me? I still suffer with flatulence and now it smells as well!
Oh very well, now about your hearing…

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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’”

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One of the delights of an Audiologist is the fact that one meets very interesting characters from time to time.

I had the pleasure of seeing Mr Bond earlier this week for a hearing reassessment. He told me he is a Greek Linguist and works as a translator for the Ministry of Defence. He speaks no less than eight languages and though far past retirement age, still works three days a week and loves his job. Even more remarkable, is the fact that Mr Bond has a severe hearing loss in both ears! His thresholds are on average 70dB and he has air-bone gaps of between 20 and 40dB. Yet he could imitate my accent and intonation absolutely spot-on. When I commented on how amazing this is, he humbly replied: “I love languages dear, it comes easily for me”. Working for MI6 I enquired about interesting cases he might have dealt with but he assured me he is no James Bond and only does office work. I on the other hand, choose to believe he is an under cover agent translating spy documents on the forefront of combating terrorism. You never know!

Dezi Belle

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Fortunately it doesn’t happen regularly but as an audiologist one occasionally sees the “not-so-pleasant” patients as was the case last week whilst I was covering an ENT clinic. When I called Mr R in the waiting room, he was talking with a raised voice on his mobile phone despite a huge sign opposite him requesting no mobile phone usage in that area. As this is always an extremely busy ENT clinic, the waiting room was jammed pack with patients and there was already a pile of files waiting for audio’s to be done. Mr R waved me off with his hand (indicating he has actually heard me) but proceeded to finish his conversation first!When Mr R eventually followed me to the soundproof booth, he didn’t bother to apologise for his rude behaviour but instead pointed out how small the room is (Mr R is extremely over weight). He also chewed incessantly on gum in a very unpleasant manner, appeared bored with the instructions I gave and hardly made eye contact. He then asked whether the test will take long because he is in fact in a hurry!

Goodness me, I thought when he left, hoping he was just having a bad day rather than actually being rude like that every day. If however the latter is true, he is a very sad case indeed!

Dezi Belle

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Earlier this week I saw Mr Stephenson who is turning 89 soon. He was seen on a repair clinic a few weeks ago when his right BE36 broke at the elbow. We didn’t have any record of him as he wasn’t seen at the department in ages. Mr Stephenson was advised to obtain a GP referral so we could assess his hearing and upgrade his hearing aids to new all-singing, all-dancing, digital hearing aids.So when I saw Mr Stephenson on a Direct Referral clinic he was pointing out that he loved his old aids and doesn’t want new ones. As he had occluding wax in both ears, I manage to get an ENT consultant to remove this with some difficulty. By then Mr Stephenson already had to “pay a penny” several times and he was clearly fed –up. No matter how I explained it would be useful if we can obtain a quick audiogram whilst he’s in, he insisted that he has lived with his hearing loss for 60 years and has had those hearing aids for 60 years(!) and he doesn’t want anything else.

No amount of explanation that we don’t stock BE 36’s or its elbow’s anymore and that I need some hearing results to program a digital aid, could convince Mr Stephenson to cooperate. In the end I glued the elbow in place. I then also gave him a BE37 as a spare (as the 36 was hanging on for dear life!) but the fact that the switches and batteries were different was a major concern to him. It took careful instruction and reassurance before he was amicable towards my idea.

Unfortunately I have to admit he left looking completely worn out and frazzled. I wonder if we Audiologist realise in our attempt to help some of the elderly people, we sometimes upset their “stable, well-known world”. And I’m holding my heart for the poor 90 plusses that will come around our department in the next few years, when we won’t be stocking any analogues anymore!

Yours sincerely

Dezi Belle

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After operating walk-in repair clinics where the shear numbers of patients resulted in a wealth of problems and unpleasant complaints, we are now operating booked Repair Clinics. This means a more organised system, significantly reducing the waiting time on the day of the clinic and eliminating the disappointment for patients being shown away. However, the 15 min slots remain very hectic even for an experienced audiologist. And even with the help of volunteers to whom one can pass patients for re-tubing etc, it remains very challenging and tiring most of the time.

Over running on any one patient can be catastrophic and so one has to be fast and accurate (at identifying the problem and solving it) yet empathic and patient!

It is however inevitable that you will have one or more of the following scenario’s on each clinic:

1. A patients who experience every possible problem in the book at once; needs replacement hearing aids, needs impressions, needs adjustments……
2. A very slow moving patient who takes up to 10 minutes alone to walk to the consulting room
3. A patient who changes his mind at the very last minute. Just as he is about to leave he says: “I think I will would like to go ahead with your suggestion for a second hearing aid after all, please take that impression”
4. You open the Corda suitcase the wrong way around and the contents spill over the floor!
5. A very talkative patient who love to be around some willing ears
6. A very inquisitive, engineer-like patient who wants to know every possible technical detail and questions every treatment or adjustments to the tee
7. A repair clinic “regular”; who comes every other week and really only want some TLC and attention and with whom you cant be rushed no matter what
8. The computer or NOAH crashes
9. The fire alarm goes off which delays your treatment with several valuable minutes as no-one can hear above the noise!

It is therefore understandable that I aptly call the Audiologists who braves these clinics: Champions of the Deaf!

Dezi Belle

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Take Mrs Morris for instance. She is severely hearing impaired and when I saw her the first time; she was in dire straights about “these terrible new hearing aids” she was given a week ago.

She came to us without an appointment (and continues to do so to this day); anyways she was literally at breaking point. To resolve the situation one of my colleagues kindly fitted her with digital aids since her antique analogue hearing aids packed up. But dealing with a new hearing aid with different switches and sounds was almost like asking this lady to move abroad to a country where they speak a funny language!

So when I saw her I switched it back to 37’s which made her as happy as Larry. In fact, this minor act moved her to tears of happiness this time and she proceeded to pay me five pounds! Clearly this has been her whole allowance for the week and she refused to take it back.

Since then I have seen Mrs Morris regularly. She wrote my name on a serviette that she keeps, folded up neatly, in her purse and she hugs and kisses me upon greeting every time. And she states so profusely that I am her very best friend because I helped her to hear!

Dezi Belle

Names used was changed for data protection.

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